REMEMBERING MARION DEWAR

I will never forget the bright smile on her cheerful face the day Marion held the few Vietnamese dresses, ao dai, that I brought to her as a gift.

When I greeted her at the Calgary airport in the late afternoon of August 15, 2008, I was wearing a short-sleeved ao dai as it was a very hot day. Marion looked at me with a lot of attention, engaged in lively conversations then told me that she really liked what I was wearing. I was happy to remember that I have another set of ao dai just like that at home, still brand new but of a different color which I would be glad to give it to the person I have always admired. So, the next day, when my husband picked her up at the hotel to go to the Vietnam Radio interview, I asked him to bring that ao dai outfit to Marion as a token gift to bring back to Ottawa.

It was a great surprise when Tuyet Lam phoned me at noon and told me that the ao dai fit her perfectly but Marion worried about the short sleeves, which she felt might not be appropriate at the Vietnamese Community Movie gala later in the evening. Marion asked if I could find a scarf or a light sweater to cover the bare arms.  I was delighted that she wanted to wear our traditional costume for this solemn occasion, and I was determined to find her the right outfit. Touched by her delicate sense of politeness, I found in my wardrobe two new ao dai, both with long sleeves and brought over to the Coast Plaza Hotel where she stayed for her 4-day visit to Calgary. As usual, she greeted me with her lovely charming smile.  I helped her try each of the dresses. Both of us burst into laughter in this impromptu mini-fashion show. It was so fortunate that the costumes fit her perfectly as if they were tailored-made to her dimensions. Marion moved so naturally and with such enthusiasm as I took pictures of my newly found fashion model! She told me that for a long time she had always wanted to wear the Vietnamese ao dai as she found it so graceful and charming.

With her trademark smile, Marion could not decide between the three ao dai to wear as each one has its own different charm and characters. She asked me to choose for her as I had done the day before when she had gone into a Vietnamese clothing store to show her support! I selected the ao dai with green and purple patterns as she seemed to like both colors. When I told her she could wear the other 2 when she would go to the next Vietnamese events in Calgary and Ottawa, she protested that she should not keep them all. I had to assure her that these ao dai were made in Vietnam, hence not expensive. I said: ‘Marion, you are the savior of the Vietnamese Community in Canada so these little token gifts are nothing compared to the courageous and generous acts of kindness you have done for us. To put some numbers into perspective, the 4000 refugees you have resettled in Ottawa have become close to 200,000 across Canada in the later years. If we count the happiness and joy that their relatives in Vietnam have benefited from their settlements in Canada, we are talking about a million people overall. Yes, Marion, it is a million souls or so that you have changed for the better!’ She hugged me with great emotion as both of us, just like an aunt and a niece, were almost overcome by happiness and tears!

So history was made again, this time on a small scale but touching nevertheless! In the evening of August 16, 2008, Marion joyfully and proudly wore the Vietnamese traditional costume to the official screening of the movie Bolinao 52 by Director Duc Nguyen! Everybody concurred that she wore ao dai with a great appearance of beauty and dignity. It was hard to believe that the 80-year old lady moved so beautifully, gracefully and energetically in that lovely costume! As I watched Marion walk so naturally, so charmingly and with great poise to the stage to receive the awards, words could not describe my emotion and happiness.

The next day, Marion visited the Calgary Vietnamese Canadian Association office in her new modernized ao dai, which again showed her “youthfulness” and “liveliness”. She greeted people with affection, talked to everyone around her and thoroughly enjoyed her favorite Vietnamese dishes.

Here, after seeing the documentary movie in progress “Stateless” on the plights of the Vietnamese refugees still remaining in the Philippines after 17 years, she expressed her devoting and loving feelings toward our unfortunate and miserable fellow countrymen as if they were already her very own.

Marion Dewar, as we already know, was an extraordinary and exceptional person who has made history through her own dynamic and meaningful living example. As we had a chance to be near her in the flesh, we discovered even more of her greatness and legend. There was “something” inside this great lady that radiated outward to touch all of us and make us feel so close to her and so peaceful inside our soul even on first contact.  That “something” was her natural friendliness, open mind and total immersion with people whether new or old acquaintance. And her love, care and concerns for people, especially for our freedom- loving Vietnamese Community have manifested in the way she amicably and gently treated others, her smart conversations and her utmost patience in listening and sharing her experience and wisdom with all around her.

I have met Marion only once yet I feel that I have known her for a very long time and that she was a close relative visiting me after a long absence. My contact with her lasted only 3 days but I have learned so many useful lessons from her during that short period of time. I truly admired her intelligence, her courage and her determination without fear of mounting obstacles and prejudice in helping the helpless, powerless and lonely refugees to settle and to begin a new life in Canada. I truly admired the way she talked to our youth with all sincerity and open mind, encouraging them to maintain our culture, to be proud of our heritage and to remember the sacrifices their parents have endured to bring them to the ports of freedom.

Today is September 15, exactly one month after my first and unfortunately my last acquaintance with Marion, I sit here in solitude and pain remembering her and all of the wonderful, beautiful and total souvenirs. I remember an extraordinary lady who is so exceptional yet so simple, joyful, innocent, full of life, and of passionate care for others around her with devoting love and without any conditions.

Vietnamese Canadians have just lost a great benefactor, a true heroine, and a tireless freedom fighter with unmatched winning track records. The world has just lost an exceptional citizen without equal in both talent and virtuosity.

In the copy of the book “Gift of Freedom” given to my daughter Kim, Marion wrote, “The world needs you, seriously”. I could not stopped my rolling tears in looking at her last words of wisdom given to us and said out loud, “The world needs you, seriously, our dear Marion!”

                                                                                Hong Phan, Calgary, AB